Game : Touch International Event

Am playing a new game since i'm lagging bad with dota ,
and here's one of it's even.Video Like event (was first +view competetion) but because of frozen view counts it became +likes ~_~ " , Anyone who has Youtube / gmail account ^^,v Pls. Like or have 15 years of badluck

Game : http://touch.3claws.com/home
Ign : Milea

Dota 2 + Crap Bayantel DSL net

in 30 minutes i get 6 Mild Disconnections , when i say mild its 2 Request Timed out Which doesn't actually causes me to Disconnect but have my screen Freeze for 10+sec that's like getting Stunned by someone or be killed w/o a fight it's annoying but i'm stuck with BayanDSL because of a contract. 
But really i'm losing my patience , everyday it's like this and i can't get a good game out of this shitty net.

it's good that there are a lot of good players that can carry

 but hell i can't enjoy my games because of it. 

Thanks to someone i got to go to Enchanted with Ruth Suarez , Abby Raymond Chelsea Miranda for FREE.

Today was also Clement Gabriel S. Bautista's baptismal as born again

Was so tired wasn't able to go to jk's bday afterward.

My Quote 1

Only you know the truth behind your story,
others may hear half of the truth or the lies.

Deceit over the net

went out with my cousin, went to a computer shop somewhere in rd.19-20
it felt nostalgic, when i was young my school service always pass there ,
and when i was a teen i always went somewhere near there to a friends house.

it's been a long time since i went to a computer shop.
since i always go online at home with this crappy bayanteldsl connection.
i saw a young girl playing Audition , She's playing with a friend in audition ph (i dont even know if i should call him a friend , not completely just met him like trice). but what actually caught my attention is she's playing with a male avatar and flirting with someone :x made me realize internet really is full of sht and lies even kids can deceive others.

Well i am one of those people who got deceived in the net, not just once not just twice.
may sound stupid well it is , it's just that i trust too much (before) well that's all in the past.
Frog prince will be the last to deceive me, being good is never a reason for others to be good to you too.
Some people just really love taking advantage of it.

j & k

before i went to sleep last morning , i was crying.
like someone punched me in the stomach and can't breathe.
memories of the past just kept lingering.
and some memories some people that i don't know if did exist.
i'm thinking 8 years from now would i forget them too?
it's not like the others were insignificant to be forgotten
but it just happens, it just happened i just forgot them.

i also was thinking of j and k , those two lovers that i admire.
i was thinking what they had is rare , love and effort.
they're the sweetest couple i've seen even if they're gay.
but then when i woke up, i had a lot of missed call from a number.
i checked my other phone of who it was bec. no one actually calls my phone.
it was j , i answered when i woke up , he was crying he wanted to see me.
and when we met he hugged me and told me "wala na ang lahat"
we ate at kfc morayta he told me everything, how k cheated he even showed me a picture of k kissing another guy, no one would've imagine or thought of that, k was like an angel he did everything for jae.
but still it has come to that, i actually cannot trust people around me but i thought he was really different.
i thought he'd take care of my friend j, but sadly the reality is humans are not perfect and we hurt each other.

i always thought love is stupid , it doesn't really exist , it's just fabricated lie.
something to make life worth while.
love for me is like a made up word , it can also be called prudence , joke , loyalty ,stupid , etc viceversa.
i'm not bitter with love , i actually receive a lot of love family, friends, suitors a bunch of liars.
i actually usually pretend that i am inlove , feel it , but not need it not want it .

 anyway with everything said ... i dedicate this song to the broken lovers.

Last Song

my will be done...?

when i was young ,
i wanted to write a story, i wanted to sing and dance, i wanted to help people, i wanted to draw
i had so many things in mind, that i cannot decide what to pursue , until i realize i can't focus on one.
but today i still want to do all , i feel i'm someone who's half-witted with everything.
i can do everything but not good enough to be worth-it.
i can say i like all but not love it, because i never really achieved anything from it.
except from online game i guess.. it's not something to be proud of anyway.
one day i want to be able to write even one story.
make a comic/manga/movie out of it.
write and sing a song about it.
and it would be something that can change someone.
if i could do that , my life would be worth it.

Dota2

i've started playing Dota 2, it's not as hard as the 1st .

ign: Milea

imvu

Let's Play / Chat together 
Id : mcmilea

(Click image to register)

dream vs reality again

didn't want to wake up from a dream of loving someone "sky"
am i that sad?
in reality i know i'm not like that
i will never chase someone
i will not love like that
i cannot fight for someone the way i did in my dream
be brave enough for someone
in dreams anything can happen
magic can happen , tragedy can turn to something good
in reality i have to always expect and prepare for the worst.

i hope when i die, i have this eternal good dream like that
i was happy when i was there but all dreams end :)

Ace Water spa

;( no picture taking from locker to pool so no pictures.
Went to ace water spa with Eisis and kids after we visited Jk's house.
there at 5 went home by 9.the longest soak in pool of my life and yes it was relaxing and fun.

But i did take this one when i was not aware it was forbidden.

unexpected things are . . .

So The plan was ... go to pangasinan with Rhona , Eisis with kids and some random people (rhona's so called friends) but 9:30pm onward it became vague, rhona explained that we cannot rent a car in a short notice. she said "what's the difference?". Well a lot for me.
1st is my budget
2nd is we have kids  (who has travel sickness so it's better to be on a private vehicle to stop over just in-case, it's a 6hr+ drive, in a 20min drive she had to puke , how much more in 6hrs ? no i'm not and never will blame the kid it's just so different in public vehicle)
3rd is the time of departure

i even argued with my parents for it because i did want to go with them but in my mind also it's not right.
But the final say is "i can't go" she got mad she still called 2-3 times but i didn't answer anymore because i didn't like her tone on the last call saying "ang landi mo naman". in my opinion a sudden change of plan is never wise i'm not a risk taker.

i remembered gx texting me earlier asking for late night dinner with friends, so i contacted him and asked if the offer was still up and still was so i went to trinoma with Eisis and the kids, i really feel bad for the kids they want to go swim i just want to make up for it :( that's the initial reason why i had to go out with my old friends i'm super glad that they're there. so first we went to a wake in congressional then we ate at Rufo's in front of GMA edsa then they asked me if they can drink at our place. while eating i texted my mom and dad asked them if they can inflate the pool for the kids since we weren't able to go to the beach (i know i know inflatable pool is far from the beach feel but hey i'm trying )

 Eisis

 My Besbud Gx

True Love

they say nothing beats a parents love for their children, Think again ;)
Do you know how much children love their parents?
To be raised with unconditional love
Cared for taken care since birth,
We see our parents struggle just to make us better.


this cycle of life makes it fair
On the day they need care , when they also cant appreciate what we do
even when they don't understand or the effort may seem worthless
We will struggle for them.
We the children of those parents will be there
to love them unconditionally and take care of them till death.

Frog Prince

Image from

He just came back in my life not literally (he's never really by my side) but somewhere between reality , talk shits and lies he's back.
He's a person i once trusted (too much) somehow liked .
A person who broke too much promises.


Have you ever loved someone to the point that when you parted ways you hated him that much too.
but what if he comes back and claims his feelings were true and still true?
to make up for the losses? that in the past months there were no other woman in his mind but you.
(well told him frankly i tried to trash his memories)


he's still the same, how can he say he prioritizes me when at the moment he's not calling, he's (maybe) drinking with his friends. just a moment ago he said he'll just talk to me :) so what's new?

i'm thinking i gave my number because i wanted the hate to go away.
and it is slipping away somehow , again i'm feeling why we had to part ways
and now it doesn't matter as much as before.

Turning Point ~Feelings~

have you ever been to a point in life where a stranger becomes a nobody then that nobody becomes somebody and that somebody turns to someone that actually matters (in whatever way) in realizing that he's actually someone who can make you feel better randomly.. i think back he's actually just that stranger willing to help me in ways he can , and just a moment ago i was really down to the point that i'm losing my self and i actually don't want to bother my friends and family about it.. then this stranger... he just asked for help and i know a little about his problems (internet setting/router/lags) not pro but the least i could do is try help ,
that's how the conversation start :) suddenly we talked about korean drama and anime dramas which i loved. i forgot , childish as it may seem it lifted my feelings of being alone and down.

of course i don't love him :) It's just that he was just that stranger i never really looked at the way i'm looking at now.

1 + 1

Met with my friend rhona last night she invited me to stay at robinsdale hotel with her (and some friends)
on the way there Eisis Called it was a new number so i didn't know it was her at first, she sounded troubled and in need of a company , i actually am ready to leave rhona for her but i've decided to ask rhona to let her come too with us so we asked the cab driver to head back to trinoma to pick up a friend.

The usual her problem is her bf well they broke up after 7years well in that 7years they do have this similar problems but right now i feel that it is different.for me they "need" to break up.
no plans and the usual problem , never been solved.

i don't know the feeling of being in a relationship for so long the longest relationship I've ever been to is 2 years and after that I've been cautious if something is wrong if it cannot be fixed or i'm not even looking forward for it to be fixed i break up asap. Nothing / No one is perfect i know that but i love myself more than anything/anyone also i am loved by many (Friends family and some strangers) so if there is anyone worth something more than what i have at the moment.

We cannot live life perfectly we get hurt we hurt people unintentionally or intentionally but at the end of the day what does matter? i do a lot of things that are insignificant to life but it makes me happy so wth.

just grabbed the photo from Rhona :D for remembrance.